It takes about an hour to walk home from downtown Victoria. There's a lot of time to think when you walk that walk alone (which is how I always do it). What do I think about? Patheticism. Well, ok, that's not all I think about. There's something else I can't seem to stop thinking about.

While walking, I did notice that there was a Ford Taurus that had it's interior light on and the door was unlocked...so I opened the door and turned the light off. My good deed for the day.

I'm beyond the suicide thoughts these days, as well as the "somebody kill me" stuff. I just want something to change. And I'm sure that change relies heavily on me. I'm just too pathetic to make a change. What's wrong with me?

I'm 29 now...I have year to go until 30. By the time I'm 30, I better have a better idea about my life and where it's headed. People I know have plans...why have I no plan? I am the Planman...of all people, I should have a fucking plan!

Ugh.

How's those sausages Charlie?

Friday started camping trip number 2 of the summer of '06 (3rd camping trip this year, although the first was technically in the spring). After work, I picked up Jackson and we headed north to Cowichan where Becks and Steve and selected some lovely campsites at Skutz Falls earlier in the day during the recon mission. Got our shit setup, Ang and her crew arrived. Sites were a bit limited in that you had to setup your tent on the designated pad...so they snagged a buncha sites just across the driveway from us. There was a bit of confusion and frustration, but it all got sorted out. Yeech arrived as we returned from getting groceries. He setup on a site as Jackson and I rocked out the double burgs. Campfires were goin, we played some shithead, hung out with the others for a bit, but ultimately ended up at our site maintaining our fire and shitheading it up some more. The late crew arrived before 1am and were able to drive right in as the gate was not shut. Frenchie arrived first on his own, followed not far behind by Becks with her Kiwi friends (Travis and Andy) and Steve on his own in the AXterra. Beers were drank, socializing was done, and the light was observed in the sky. Jackson, Frenchie and I were the hardcores for the evening, turning in at 4:30am.

After a stellar 2, maybe 3 hours of sleep, I was up. I don't sleep much camping, and it doesn't seem to phase me. Very strange. Actually, not that strange. Saturday morning was spent waiting for others to wake up, and whilst that was on, we blew up our floatie thingies (as they are so called by the Beckstress) and managed to fit the majority of them into my Sonoma. I love owning a truck. Oh, did I mentioned we'd be floating down the Cowichan River today? 10am was wakeup calls for everyone and we were outta the site by 11 heading for Lake Cowichan. The usual breakfast place was closed (as in 'shut down and for sale' closed). Jackson and I settled for Subway and remained close to the truck and the floatie thingies. The others opted to walk to a restaurant a ways away. Apparently it was worth it. Daytrippers started to arrive and soon the parking lot at the info centre in Lake Cowichan was filling up. Q&S were there, as was P&W and M&E. Blainey was en route and had called to confirm. After a bit of confusion about the whereabouts of the end of the ride, Yeech's car was parked at Little Beach, where we would disembark (I played shuttle and ferried Yeech and the Kiwis back to the start in the back of the truck). Someone else was parked there, but I wasn't involved in that one, so I gots nothin' to say about it.

We hit the water around 1pm. It was quite the site. Our group was very large and it was a just a mass entrance into the river. A variety of floatie thingies were used, from ski tubes to regular truck inner tubes to air mattresses and even a rubber ducky tube (a bit small). But the rockinest floatie thingy is the Club 100, of which there were 3 card carrying members in our group. Yeech (still owes me $10 for his), Frenchie, and moi were all in the low riding, highly manoueverable, just plain fuckin' kick ass floaters around! I had 3 beers, a gatorade, sunscreen, and my digital camera with me (in a ziplock bag courtesy of Becks (I bought Ziplock bags but failed to read the box in full and discovered I had purchased the type with freshness vents (ie little holes)...not good for waterproofing a camera)). Jackson did have a pretty kick ass floating cooler which I must give him credit for. As we floated, we mingled amongst ourselves. I shared my time between the various groups and spent some time just out in semi-open space on my own. I recorded video for the entire final leg of the journey...2000 seconds worth (a little over half an hour)!. It's POV for me, looking out of the stern of the Club 100 with my feet at the bottom of the frame the entire time. I have yet to watch back through it all, but I think it's going to be great fun. We defloated at Little Beach and deflated our floatie thingies. It was 4pm...3 hours of floating (and 50 SPF did well for it...not a burn on me!). I caught a ride back to the parking lot with Yeech, who then figured he didn't need to return as there were enough rides for everyone left. It turned out there wasn't...although I do own a truck. Frenchie up front, Jackson, Becks, and the Kiwis in the back with the mass of floatie thingies, and we were on our way back to town for more supplies. Did I mention I love owning a truck?

Back in town, the daytrippers bid us farewell and we went shopping. Dinner was to be spectacular (with Jackson as head chef, it had to be!). Steaks (from New Zealand no less), potatoes, corn on the cob, garlic mushrooms (not for me, but others love it), plus chips and dip and s'mores ingredients...that's what we bought. Then we tried to find firewood. The Payless station had one bundle left. The Esso had none. The Laundromat had none. We headed back to Skutz...the Kiwis enjoying their Canadian 'back of the truck' experience.

As dinner was begun, Q&S stopped by to say hi and check out the site before heading home. Frenchie went off with some friend to see her new condo. Andy and I went off in search of more firewood and ended up with a decent truckload. We started off with sticks from the bushes down the road, but then found a decommissioned logging road a pile of wood scraps that someone had dumped there. Jackpot! Dinner was nearing completion when we arrived back. I tried to help where I could, but Jackson had it pretty much under control. The steaks were as big as the plates...only Travis and I were able to finish ours (I believe...that may not be entirely true). The rest of the food was awesome as well and we were all stuffed.

After dinner, ladderball was played. My reigning title from the Canada Day trip was quickly stripped from me by Andy, and later Becks kicked my ass just to make sure it stayed that way. She reigned for a while, but in the end Travis won a game and claimed victory. Jackson and I threw the aerobie around for a bit, and a rugby ball was present too. As dusk fell, Baci was played. It got so that we were playing in complete dark and it was awesome! Lanterns and flashlights were used sparingly and only when necessary. We played to 5 and I came close with 4...but Travis (again) took the win. We retired from the games back to the campfire and got into the shithead again. It was great fun with the Kiwis learning the game (and doing fucking well), Frenchie never quite grasping the rules and often not realizing it was his turn, and Steve rumbling the entire picnic table with his farts. Did I mention that a fair number of beers had been and were still being consumed? We broke for a while, I rocked the Jiffy Pop, we also had s'mores at some point in the evening. Eventually we migrated back to the picnic table for more shithead action. Travis was killing us all, and Steve was hilarious with his table talk code in an effort to take Travis out ("So I was at this CLUB last week with these TWO chicks...they were TENS..."). Frenchie was itchin' for some food again and the blueberrys were found...soon to be known as bluebs thanks to Frenchie. And just for the record...Becks may have grabbed some small bluebs from the container...but when asked to confirm that she indeed had small bluebs, she said "no". Shithead eventually came to an end, but we continued talking and laughing around the campfire well into the daylight. 6am rolled around and we decided it would probably be a good idea to get a few moments of sleep...especially those of use who were Blue Rodeo bound (Jackson had gone to bed around 3 or 3:30).

I got 3 hours of sleep and was a bit groggy at 9am, but not too bad. Jackson was up and we started to clean up and organize the site. After some shithead of course. 10:30 I gave wakeup calls to the Becks and French tents. Didn't get too much response. Jackson started breakfast, using my Toolbox Grill for the first time! People arose as breakfast became ready...sausages, leftover potatoes, scrambled eggs, english muffins, jalepeno jack cheese...it was the freakin' bomb! (as the kids say...or said. I never said that)

We got packed up by like 1pm and parked out on the road and went for a swim and a hangout by the river. That was refreshing. Approaching 3pm, we left to begin heading for Nanaimo, but intending to stop somewhere along the way to snooze and relax. I chose Fuller Lake (despite the fecal coliform contamination from 3 years ago...which was now all cleared up and the lake was open for business) and it worked out nicely. Big grassy slope, in the shade...bit of sun. I had my wicked picnic blanket and sprawled out. Becks and Travis and Jack all did pretty much the same. We left there around 5pm and carried on up to Nanaimo, dropping Travis off at the Duke Point Ferry (where he had to wait for an hour and a half for the next boat). We ate in downtown Nantown at the Modern Cafe. Nachos and fish and chips...pretty good. Service a little lame, but apparently someone hadn't shown up. I navigated the Nan with surprising ease and never got lost or off course (although I did make Becks run a red light when I ran a yellow not thinking that she was following...oops). We hit Beban park around 8, just in time for David Gogo. Played a round of Baci...Becks and I vs Jackson and Thompsies son...although Jackson soon opted for football and Miza took over. Becks and I rocked the Baci and won 10-4 in like 8 rounds. Go team! Sat down for the end of Gogo and moved over to the side for Powder Blues (who didn't play Doin' it Right for some unknown reason). I had a rootbeer and Thompsie bought me an ice cream...what a nice guy! Blue Rodeo hit the stage closer to 10pm than 9 and were fuckin' awesome! I recognized probably 50-60% of the songs, but danced and sang along to all that I could. We moved up and had a pretty awesome spot. They perform very well and I am so glad I saw them (I have seen them before...briefly...at SarsStock...they got to play 4 songs). Good idea Becks!

Drove home in decent time...in bed by 1:30. Very comfortable. Did not want to get up at 6:45, but did. Awesome weekend.

My Koolatron cooler is pretty cool.

I was going to finish off the details of the Canada Day camping trip, but you know what? Fuck it! Sunday was checking out Elk Falls, more McIvor Lake, and nursing hangovers. The evening was pretty uneventful.

Why do I say Fuck It!? Cause I just can't be bothered to write about that now while my head is filled with...I dunno. My gut feels low and I'm very somber right now. Several of my co-workers...some I considered friends...were layed off today. Many more cutbacks happened at CHUM stations across the country. It came as a total surprise to me, and many others. A total surprise that it happened today...yes (although I knew it couldn't go on the way it had been going on in every department without some cuts). A total surprise of who got cut...very yes. Good people that were dedicated to their jobs were let go. Some incompetence still remains. It's shocking, but it's business.

I don't know how to react to this. I've been with the station for almost three years and have seen two other rounds of layoffs. The first time, I was new, I was amazed I stayed, and I barely knew any of the people who lost their jobs. The second time, I knew more, but still didn't know a whole lot of the people who lost their jobs on any sort of personal level. This time, some people that I know and hang out with outside of work lost their jobs. I don't know what to say to these people. I don't know how to react.

Then there's the restructuring...the remaining people have been moved around into positions that they may do well, but are not necessarily their strong suit or their preference. They've still got jobs and for that I (and they) are thankful, but it kinda sucks (especially since they are now doing the jobs their former co-workers and friends held). My department was not affected, except for one indirect hit that isn't entirely clear at this time.

Who knows what will happen in the next few months though...BGM has bought us out. Are more cuts or relocations coming? My gut isn't it's usual self. I bet I shit blood tomorrow.

All this has really got me thinking...What do I do? I need a plan. I've been thinking about this for a while actually. I'm pretty much just spinning my wheels right now. By the time I hit 30, I better have a better career path idea for myself. Do I try and stick it out where I am? or do I take matters into my own hands and take control of my career? Running my own business...while a scary thought, is not out of the question. I'd really like to come up with a solid internet based business idea, but I just don't seem to be creative enough to think outside the box. Argh!

I'm happy to still have a job, but I'm disappointed that some other good people lost theirs. At least they are good workers and should be very employable. If I can help them in any way, I will.

There's a reason I am known as Planman.

Last weekend was the big Canada Day camping weekend. Frenchie and I had originally planned a trip to my family's cabin in the East Kootenay's with friends from our ACP class and a few others. We nixed those plans at the end of May though, after the Sasquatch trip and just realizing that it was going to be a lot of driving and a lot of cost (ferry and gas) for a very short time at the cabin. So, we instead planned a camping trip on the island. We made one member of our ACP class angry with us...but alas, we cannot please everyone.

The new plans never developed a whole lot...basically we decided on a couple of spots, didn't make reservations, and hoped to get in. I sent out emails and sort of became the organizer. The ACP class wasn't very responsive, and in the end, none of them came. It ended up being an A-Channel/my friends/my family trip, with S&R, P&W, and G&B joining much of the regular A-Channel crew for a debaucherous camping weekend.

So Friday I had off, as did G&B. After a quick stop in at work to take care of a few morning things, I headed up to their place where I loaded my stuff into their camper and we headed out in the new GMC. Dasha and I occupied the back, with Bailey sitting in the middle up front. The doggies were well behaved and the trip was comfortable in the full size truck. The roads weren't busy and we made good time. First campsite attempt was Sproat Lake in the Alberni Valley. We knew it was unlikely, and it certainly was. Both the lower and upper provincial campsites were full at 12:30. Ah nuts! On to option #2...backtrack to the main highway and head north for Buttle Lake in Strathcona Park. We bought all our booze and last minute food items in Port Alberni, and then began the backtrack.

I can't remember the last time I was north of Nanaimo, and I had not been on phase two of the Inland Island Highway at all. It's great...straight and fast! It took us no time to get to Campbell River...well almost no time (we had to stop in Courtenay for a bathroom break). We went right through CR and decided to stop in at Elk Falls, just outside of town. It was a nice campground, but lacked a lake, which I knew everyone (17 people expected) was wanting to lounge around at during the days. We just wanted to see how full they were getting, and to ask if they knew how full Buttle Lake was getting. They didn't know about Buttle, but rather than drive the additional 46Km for a crapshoot at 4 campsites closeby, we opted to take the doublesite and 2 nearby sites that we found available at Elk Falls. The Park Facilitator told us about a nearby lake about 5 km away that was great for swimming...we checked it out and it looked awesome! So we hurried back to the campground and snagged all the sites, settling ourselves into the doublesite. It was about 5pm by now. I notified everyone of our whereabouts...some were coming up that night, some the next day.

We setup camp, had some dinner (I had personal chefs the whole weekend, as G&B had offered to handle all the food and they did a wonderful job of that) - ribs, potato salad and green salad...very yum. I had brought up the tents of the late news crew who were planning to travel up in the wee hours of the morning...we wouldn't expect them until after 3am. So I set their tents up for them on the 2nd campsite. Blainey and Johnny Mac arrived and setup on the 3rd campsite. Herch and Yeech arrived at dusk and setup at our doublesite...I had it all worked out. Perm and his friend, Becka, arrived after the gate had been closed at 11pm, but the night facilitator happened to be around at the time they arrived, and Gord managed to convince him to open the gate and let them drive in...so that worked out well. Did I mention that the Park Facilitators were excellent to us? We were only charged the basic camping fee for each site we used...no additional charges for extra vehicles or tents...of which we had many. Yay to the parks people!

While and once everyone was setup, some shithead was played, and a bit of drinking went on. We got a campfire going and were hanging out. The crew at campsite 3 stayed down there most of the time. Yeech, Herch, and I were the only ones left after about 1:30, just yakkin' and hangin' around the fire. At 2:40 I got a text message from Becks that read, "We r in campbell river." I was amazed...they'd driven up in 2 hours and 40 minutes! Campbell River used to be like a 5 hour trip. Night time and the Inland Island Highway have made a mockery of that! Nice work to the Frenchie for drivin' like a madman! No chance of getting the gate opened at that hour, but we met them there and helped them carry their stuff in and showed them to their campsite. They were very appreciative to have their tents already setup, but it was nowhere near bedtime. Beers were brought out and we headed back to our site where the fire was still burning. We stayed up until the sky started getting light, just shootin' the shit. At 4:30 it became bedtime. Herch and I pissed out the fire, despite Yeech's unlove for urine smoke. I wasn't even tired, despite having been up since 6am.

I didn't sleep great...I was up at 6am to go to the bathroom (a bonus for our sites...being close to the sani-dump meant we had easy access to the only flush toilets in the campground...and what good flushers they were!), then I only slept and bit and got up for good at 8:30. Yeech was already up. We played some cards, then went wandering (no one else was up). We ended up walking along the river and all the way up to the dam, crossing the river, then back down the other side and crossing again just past the campground. It was a nice roundtrip. Walking back to the camp along the highway, we spotted a driveway with a large pile of firewood. With no one in site, we each grabbed a couple pieces of wood...no one would miss them and we were pretty sure we could use 'em. The peops were up when we got back, and my breakfast of sausage & egg english muffin sandwiches was underway. Again, very yum. Johnston had arrived and was setting himself up at camp 2 where I had intended for him to go. Only 2 groups were missing...S&R and P&W. I was waiting for them to show, regardless of what the others did. Some headed off to the lake (McIvor Lake) and I gave them directions. Johnston brought ladderball, so we set that up and played a few games...all of which I won! S&R arrived a little after noon and got themselves setup with us in the double site. G&B were also waiting around with me (all others had gone to the lake), but went into town for a few things. While they were gone, P&W showed up. So now we were waiting on G&B to get back so we could all go to the lake...no biggie. People ate cause it was that time. When we were finally all reunited, we headed for McIvor and what an awesome lake it turned out to be! Beaches everywhere, comfortable, clean water, an island, and not super busy!

We located the A-Channelers who had setup on the "main" beach. G&B opted for a more secluded beach where the dogs wouldn't bother anyone else. As I walked up, Becks (in a bikini...humina humina humina) handed me a drink (well a taste of her drink...which was both refreshing and tasty) and welcomed me to our beach party. Frenchie gave me a beer and I used his footpump to get my Club 100 rubber dingy blowed up and ready to float. Actually, I think I just walked into the water first and cooled down...then I blew up the Club 100. Some of the others were floating, some were swimming, some were tanning. The day was gorgeous (as was the whole weekend...couldn't have been better camping weather). I got Blainey and Herch to float in convoy with me over to the island to check it out. Herch on his Homer Tube and Blainey on the other Club 100. We made it to the island and discovered that it was just full of trees and bushes. Boring. We returned to the boats to find Polly, who had swam over (and planned to steal our boats!). We thwarted that plan, but floated back alongside her as she swam. Upon returning, Gord was signalling to me that they were leaving and I motioned back that it was cool, I'd find a ride with someone. We hung out for a bit longer...a bit of sunning and a bit more watertime, then headed back to camp. I caught a ride with Johnny Mac, throwing the Club 100s into Wilbur's Hertz truck and keeping them inflated for more floating action the next day!

Back at camp, dinner was underway for me and the others went off to make theirs. We had wicked thick steaks with baked potatoes and more salad. Yet again, very yum. Sure beat the hell outta hot dogs! More drinking began, more ladderball was played, and I remained the champ! Shithead was played at camp 2 and quite a few people were partaking...it was a double deck game. Slowly everyone migrated to camp 2 for the evening and the drinking continued. I was onto caesars now. The details of the night are somewhat fuzzy, but basically many pictures were taken, many drinks were had, there were chicken wings courtesy G&B, there was the singing of O'Canada at least twice, a couple of run-ins with the overnight park warden, some good conversations were had, and the campsire got stoked quite big at camp 3 by Johnny Mac as he looked for his lost keys. Blainey got woked up and poked his head out the tent, saying to Jackson, "Hey, I gotta question for you...why don't you fuck off?" Despite that, we ended the night at camp 3, Frenchie and I taking the glory for hardcores of the night (even though Jackson earlier placing a prizeless bet and shaking hands that he would outlast us both). I pissed out the fire and headed back to my tent.

I'm stoppin' there for now...Sunday/Monday and the rest of the week will follow soon! It's like a cliffhanger, but not really.